In the grand tradition of birthdays, where candles are a fire hazard and the number of them on a cake can be a closely guarded secret, we gather around to celebrate the annual reminder that yes, you’ve made another successful trip around the sun without being flung off into space. Mazl tov! That’s no small feat in a universe where asteroids are playing cosmic dodgeball and black holes are lurking like interstellar vacuum cleaners. So, here’s to you, the birthday star, not just surviving but thriving in the wild, wacky world we call home. You’ve dodged more metaphorical asteroids this year than most, and for that, you deserve not just a slice, but the whole cake—preferably with extra icing. And let’s not forget the presents, wrapped in layers of mystery and tape, holding within them the promise of something new, something exciting, or at the very least, a gift receipt. As you blow out your candles with the finesse of a seasoned wind instrument player, remember that with each passing year, you’re not just getting older, you’re getting bolder, wiser, and a tad more eccentric, which is just a polite way of saying you’re becoming a character, and who doesn’t love a character? So, raise your glass, or your mug, or that fancy chalice you got last year that you’re not quite sure what to do with, and toast to the past year’s memories, the laughter, the tears, and the moments that left you wondering about the mysteries of the universe, like why we never see baby pigeons. Here’s to the coming year, may it be filled with as much joy as there are crumbs in the bottom of a toaster, and may your celebrations be as loud and joyful as a parade of honking geese. Happy birthday, and many more to come, each one more spectacular than the last, like a series of increasingly elaborate fireworks, or perhaps more accurately, like finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag. Mazl tov! 🎉